TIPS 4 THE COACH (Part 3)

Coaching Conversations

1. Never sit across the table from the person you are coaching because this suggests an adversarial relationship. Sit side by side or at right angles to each other. (ST)
2. Most coaching conversations are framed as attempts at solving problems or overcoming the coachee's weakness. Try the opposite approach of profiting from opportunities and building upon the coachee's strengths. (ST)
3. Once you have a topic, a problem, or an opportunity, ask the coachee for ideas. Listen actively and attentively. When the coachee says that he or she has run out of ideas, ask for some more. Offer you ideas only after the coachee has completed his or her list. Even then, offer your ideas tentatively as things to be improved. (ST)
4. Don't over-plan and over-rehearse your coaching session if you want to avoid appearing to be rigid and obsessive. Have a general idea of your goal and invite the coachee to suggest the specific process. (ST)
5. At the end of a coaching session, ask the coachee for feedback about your coaching performance. Model appropriate behaviors for receiving feedback. And change your behavior during your next coaching conversation. (ST)
6. Resist the temptation to ask, "Why?" Asking why generally takes you close to doing therapy and many coachees react to "Why?" as a blaming or fault-finding question. Instead of "Why didn't you finish this project on time?" try "What got in your way and how can you deal with it next time?" (Ken Coleman)
7. During coaching sessions, you are advised to make suggestions or ask questions instead of telling the coachee what to do. Sometimes this is not a good idea. Your coachee may get confused and wonder, "Now what exactly did my coach want me to do?" Don't feel guilty about providing unambiguous, no-nonsense instructions--when it is appropriate. (ST)
8. Sometimes it is easier to coach two people instead of one. Whenever you are coaching some interpersonal skill, consider the possibility of coaching two people at the same time. This reduces the intensity of the session and permits you to have the two coachees role-play with each other. (ST)
9. In every group coaching situation, acknowledge and show appreciation for each person's contribution, no matter how small. Each person deserves to be acknowledged, and rewarding small efforts can inspire them to bigger efforts the next time. (Kaye Vivian)
10. Avoid giving advice. Advice usually brings out the 'yes, but...' response. Instead, try to provide information which the person can use to chart their next course of action. (Jane Koroniak)
11. Headline, Specific, Benefit: To improve understanding, retention, and buy in, when offering performance feedback or ideas, a useful structure includes a Headline (What's the general skill principle on which you are focusing, "I liked your use of open-ended questions"); Specific Example (quotes, tonals, or body language, "For example, when you said 'What are your objectives, and what are your challenges."); Benefit to the Performer (What's in it for them, "That got you a lot of useful information.") (AKimball)
12. Positive Ideas trump Negative Feedback: Instead of telling a salesperson that they shouldn't have asked so many manipulative questions on that sales call (Negative Feedback), it is more useful to suggest that they ask more open-ended, double-clicking questions such as, "Tell me more?", "Can you get more specific?", or "What are some of your most most critical objectives." (AKimball)
13. The most important tip is to never demotivate the trainee. We often tend to do so by unconscious body language. (Bhatia Samir)
14. Have the person/people you are coaching brainstorm by listing everything that comes to mind about the subject, good, bad, obvious or obscure. Do not discuss each item just write them down until you can't come up with any more ideas. After the list is created you can discuss the pros and cons of each idea. (CalGal)
15. Use pictures "screen prints" in training procedures. This helps a great deal because the individual will remember the picture before they will remember the words. Once they visually recognize where they are, the process steps seem to make more sense. (CalGal)
16. When working on a training situation, demonstrate the process, then have the trainee perform the technique several times in a side by side setting. Next have them begin on their own with no direction and be in the immediate area available for questions. If they get stuck on something, guide them through troubleshooting but allow them to "fix" the problem. (CalGal)
17. Avoid negatives that discourage and exclude, such as "I don't think..." and "You shouldn't...," when speaking. Negatives put people on the defensive. Instead you want to encourage and include with phrases that start with "What if we tried to..." or "Maybe you could..." or "another option might be..." etc. (CalGal)
18. Debriefing is the process used by facilitators to encourage participants to reflect on an experiential activity and share their insights. You can adapt this technique for use in one-on-one coaching situations, especially after some positive or negative experience (such as completing a proposal within a tight deadline or losing a contract at the last moment). Invite the coachee to think back on the experience and discuss lessons learned. Also discuss implications of the experience for future behavior. (ST)
19. Keep it simple and keep it brief - ALWAYS.
20. Don't coach when you are upset. You will end up taking out your frustrations on the coachee. Wait until you are calm and centered. Also don't coach when the coachee is upset. Give the person time to recover. (Gabrielle)
21. Instead of coaching someone to perform a procedure, prepare a suitable job aid. Then coach the person how to used the job aid. (Gabrielle)
22. Practice "generous listening". What I mean by that is listen for the honorable intent behind the coachee's words. So if someone has strong passion which is displayed through frustration, recognize the passion and the good intention the coachee has behind his/her words. (Alain)